'Tis the season to be...aware!
How best to prepare for your holidays with family

You have to love November in Phoenix. The cool weather brings with it memories of wonderful, magical holidays as a child and the lovely times shared with family. As an adult, November brings with it...panic over the number of family members expected for the holidays, anxiety about the money that will be spent, and preoccupation with dieting because it is jean season again and sweets are everywhere. But let's just focus on the family right now.

I completely adore and love my family, and my husband's family. With that said, I admit, I have a bit of anxiety over the 22 relatives that are coming to stay with us during this holiday season. When my family gets together it takes on a certain predictable pattern. We always plan these wonderful excursions in which we are all to participate. Twenty minutes into the first car trip, I feel like I'm suffocating with all the adults squashed in one car breathing the same air. The planned family hikes and walks quickly go south because almost everyone is too full, too tired, or just too bored with the idea. Most conversations center around what we are going to have for the next meal. And every time, I promise myself, that no matter what, no matter how stressed out I get, no matter how exasperated I feel, I will smile and be cheerful and nice because I love my family so much.

Then it happens. About three days into the action-packed family reunion, I look in the mirror and think, "I have no idea who you are." I have lost all ability to consider the not-so-nice thoughts before I blurt them out, I have boycotted kitchen duties, I daydream through the whole Scrabble game, and my head is buzzing as if I've been in a crowded amusement park for 83 hours.

HOLIDAYS ARE STRESSFUL! Whether you are hosting or being hosted, with or without children, the amount of additional expectations, duties, mandatory social events, work deadlines, and school activites, not to mention the Martha Stewart decorating pressure, are about enough to just turn one nice, normal human being into the "Wicked Witch of the East".

Here are a few suggestions on how to keep your holidays wonderful and magical:

· Maintain your exercise routine. If you don't have one, this is a good time to start one - given the extra time off from work and extra help around for the kids.

· Plan ahead. Right now, sit down and make a list of the things you would like to accomplish each week before the holidays arrive. Then methodically and slowly enjoy your way through completing your lists.

· Say "No". Every party invitation and volunteer opportunity does not have to be accepted.

· Set aside personal time. Even if you are with others, take some time for yourself each day to regroup and refresh your mind.

· Cook ahead and buy prepared things. Any items that can be made ahead of time, make them and freeze them. (Learned this one from Mom.) Save extra time and energy by buying those things that will taste just the same if they're store bought.

· Plan alone time with your spouse. The potential holiday chaos can leave a couple estranged, increasing your stress level. Devote some time to eachother that will inspire others.

· Minimize your alcohol intake. If you consume alcohol, this is the time to consider cutting back. Alcohol is a depressant. While it initially decreases your inhibitions (not always a good thing) and stress, the resulting effects to your brain chemistry lead to increased irritability and a depressed mood.

· Own your feelings only. You are not responsible for how someone else feels. You can treat people all different kinds of ways, but in the end, they choose how they want to feel.

· Plan children's activities. When the children are happy and occupied, the family is happy and relaxed. When the children are bored and full of energy, they can easily turn into a pack of wolves.

Above all else - Think about how you would like the holidays to be for your family. Think about how you would like your children to remember the holidays. If you are completely pinging (stressed out and unfriendly) you will most likely be the catalyst to an unpleasant environment. That certainly is not your intention. After all, wouldn't you rather people leave you thinking:"It's A Wonderful Life!"